Intern Self-Sabotage
The Sunday Lite - A Comedy Script inspired by the film Liar Liar
FADE IN:
INT. GENERIC OFFICE CUBICLE
FLETCHER INTERN, a panic stricken 22-year-old summer intern in his dad's borrowed suit that's two sizes too big, sits at a tiny desk in the corner staring at his computer screen in horror. His temporary nameplate reads "FLETCHER - SUMMER INTERN (TEMPORARY)" and he's just discovered he's been using the wrong sales data for his entire presentation.
FLETCHER INTERN
(to himself, Jim Carrey style)
I screwed up! I screwed up BIG TIME! I used old data and now my presentation makes us look like we're selling ice to penguins! And I'm just an intern! They probably already think I'm useless!
His hand moves toward his phone like he's compelled by an invisible force.
FLETCHER 2.0 (CONT'D)
(fighting against himself)
Must... call... boss... Must confess... EVERYTHING!
SEASONED SUSAN pokes her head over the cubicle wall.
SEASONED SUSAN
Fletcher, you look like you're having some kind of episode. You okay?
FLETCHER INTERN
(unable to stop himself)
Susan! I made a terrible mistake! I used February's data instead of March's and my entire presentation is wrong and I'm probably going to get fired and I deserve it because I'm just an intern and I'm completely incompetent and they should have hired that other kid from Stanford!
SEASONED SUSAN
(alarmed)
Fletcher, honey, just... just fix the data and….
FLETCHER INTERN
(already dialing)
No! I must tell the truth! I HAVE to tell Dave right now! I can't help myself! Even though I'm just a summer intern and he probably forgot my name already!
SEASONED SUSAN
(grabbing his phone)
Fletcher, no! You don't understand! This is self sabotage!
FLETCHER INTERN
(wrestling for the phone)
I CANNOT TELL A LIE! Well, I can, but I won't! I read somewhere on LinkedIn that authenticity is the key to success! Even for interns! Especially for interns!
INT. BREAK ROOM
Fletcher bursts in where DAVE THE SUPERVISOR is microwaving leftover pizza.
FLETCHER INTERN
Dave! I need to confess something! I messed up my presentation and instead of quietly fixing it like a normal person, I'm compelled to announce it to everyone! Even though I'm just a temporary intern and you probably don't even remember my last name!
DAVE THE SUPERVISOR
(pizza falling out of his mouth)
Fletcher, what is wrong with you? Last week you announced to the entire sales team that you didn't know what a KPI was! You're an INTERN! You're not supposed to know everything!
FLETCHER INTERN
(proudly)
And I learned so much from that experience! Twenty-three people liked my LinkedIn post about it! Including someone who said "refreshing honesty from the next generation!"
DAVE THE SUPERVISOR
Fletcher, you know what I learned? That you don't know what a KPI is! And now every time we have a meeting, I wonder what else you don't know! And you're supposed to be here LEARNING, not broadcasting your ignorance!
FLETCHER INTERN
(horrified realization)
But... but radical honesty! Vulnerability! Authentic leadership! The internet said interns need to stand out!
DAVE THE SUPERVISOR
Fletcher, you're like an intern who keeps showing up to a black-tie event in budgie smuggler swim gear and wondering why nobody wants to offer you a full-time position!
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - LATER
Fletcher sits across from his BOSS, MR. HENDERSON, a stern man in his 50s.
MR. HENDERSON
Fletcher, I hear you wanted to see me about your presentation?
FLETCHER 2.0
(fighting against himself)
Yes sir! I... I...
His face contorts like he's in physical pain trying not to blurt out the truth
FLETCHER 2.0 (CONT'D)
I USED THE WRONG DATA! I've been working with February numbers instead of March and my entire analysis is garbage and I probably cost us the Johnson account and I should be fired immediately!
MR. HENDERSON
(stunned)
...Fletcher, I hadn't even looked at your presentation yet.
FLETCHER 2.0
(continuing compulsively)
Also, I don't really understand pivot tables! And sometimes I pretend to take notes but I'm actually drawing dinosaurs! And I've been using the office printer for my personal résumé because I'm already looking for another job!
MR. HENDERSON
(writing frantically)
Keep... talking...
INT. OFFICE BATHROOM
Fletcher splashes water on his face, talking to himself in the mirror.
FLETCHER INTERN
(to his reflection)
What is wrong with me? It's like I'm allergic to keeping my mouth shut! Every mistake, every fumble, every brain fart, I have to announce it like I'm running a one-man disaster broadcast network! And I'm just a summer intern! I'm supposed to be learning quietly, not confessing loudly!
WISE WALTER, the office's mysterious IT guy, emerges from a stall.
WISE WALTER
Fletcher, you need help, son.
FLETCHER INTERN
Walter! Perfect! I need to tell you about the time I accidentally deleted half the intern shared drive and….
WISE WALTER
(interrupting)
STOP! Just... stop talking for thirty seconds.
Fletcher's mouth moves but no sound comes out. He looks relieved.
WISE WALTER (CONT'D)
You know what my secret is? I fix things quietly. I solve problems without fanfare. I make mistakes disappear like they never happened.
FLETCHER INTERN
But what about transparency? Accountability? Learning cultures? Don't I need to prove I'm growing?
WISE WALTER
Fletcher, you're not building a learning culture. You're building a "Fletcher screws up again" culture.
INT. FLETCHER'S CUBICLE - FANTASY SEQUENCE
Fletcher imagines himself in a courtroom, representing himself.
FANTASY FLETCHER
(to jury)
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I stand before you today to confess EVERYTHING! I once put toner in the wrong printer! I've been mispronouncing "cache" for three months! I don't really know what blockchain is but I nod knowingly when people mention it!
FANTASY JUDGE
Fletcher, you're supposed to be defending yourself, not prosecuting yourself!
FANTASY FLETCHER
I CANNOT TELL A LIE! Even when it would help me!
RECORD SCRATCH. Back to reality.
INT. FLETCHER'S CUBICLE - REALITY
Fletcher is on the phone with his therapist Dr. Chen.
FLETCHER 2.0
(into phone)
Doc, I can't stop confessing my mistakes at work. It's like I'm compulsively honest about everything that goes wrong!
Dr. Chen
Fletcher, have you considered that maybe some truths don't need to be shared immediately with everyone?
FLETCHER 2.0
But what if they find out?
Dr. Chen
Fletcher, most people are too busy worrying about their own mistakes to notice yours. You're not the star of everyone else's workplace drama.
Fletcher looks around the office. Everyone is staring at their own screens, dealing with their own problems.
FLETCHER 2.0
(whispering)
So... I could just... fix things quietly?
DR. CHEN
Revolutionary concept, I know.
INT. BREAK ROOM - NEXT DAY
Fletcher is making coffee when BRADLEY another intern from Marketing approaches, typing on his phone.
BRADLEY
Fletcher! Did you see my latest LinkedIn post? I shared how I learned so much from accidentally hitting "reply all" when I meant to forward that embarrassing email about my irritable bowel syndrome!
FLETCHER 2.0
(looking horrified)
Bradley... why would you... why would you share that?
BRADLEY
Vulnerability, Fletcher! Authentic leadership! I got sixty-seven likes and three comments about courage!
FLETCHER 2.0
(having an epiphany)
Bradley... I think you might have a problem.
BRADLEY
What do you mean?
FLETCHER 2.0
You're like me, but... but with digestive issues on social media. You can't stop confessing things that would be better left private!
SEASONED SUSAN appears with her coffee.
SEASONED SUSAN
Boys, let me tell you something. The most successful people in this office aren't the ones who share every mistake. They're the ones who fix their problems quietly and somehow always look competent.
FLETCHER 2.0
You mean... like Walter?
SEASONED SUSAN
Exactly like Walter. You think he's never made a mistake? He's made hundreds. He just fixes them, learns from them, and moves on without broadcasting them to the world.
Fletcher looks at Bradley, still typing his post about bathroom habits and personal growth.
FLETCHER 2.0
(to Bradley)
Bradley, maybe... maybe some things are better left unshared?
BRADLEY
(confused)
But how will people know I'm growing as a person?
FLETCHER 2.0
(smiling)
Maybe they'll notice when you stop making the same mistakes instead of when you announce them?
Bradley looks confused. Fletcher pats him on the shoulder.
FLETCHER 2.0 (CONT'D)
I'm going to try something revolutionary, Bradley. I'm going to fix my next mistake quietly and see what happens.
SEASONED SUSAN
(grinning)
Now you're learning, Fletcher.
FADE OUT.
THE END
Text appears on screen: "For more strategic career advice that won't require a courtroom confession, stay tuned for our next episode on The Wednesday Unveiled: 'Workplace honesty' - where we dive deeper into the tactics that actually work when you're not compelled to tell the truth about everything."