The true grit intern
The Sunday Lite - a rootin’-tootin’ workplace showdown
Scene: The wild, wild west of open-plan offices. Cacti on every desk. The air smells faintly of burnt coffee and crushed dreams. Enter Rooster Cogburn, legendary marshal of the “grit gospel,” wearing a ten-gallon hat, an eye patch and a tie with coffee stains. He’s flanked by a posse of senior managers, all clutching copies of “grit: the power of passion and perseverance.” Across the saloon sorry, break room, stands Maddie, the new intern.
Rooster Cogburn (squinting, voice like gravel):
Well, well, well. If it ain’t the fresh meat. You ready to eat dirt, Maddie? Around here, we don’t quit. We grit.
Maddie (deadpan, sipping oat milk latte):
I thought this was a marketing internship, not a rodeo.
Rooster (pacing, boots echoing on the linoleum):
You see that pile of expense reports? That’s your Everest. You climb it, you get character. You fall, you get… well, replaced. By someone with more grit.
Maddie (eyeing the reports):
Or, I could automate this with a macro and have time for lunch. Or is eating for the weak here too?
Enter Lyle, the grad intake recently taken on, eyes wide, tie askew, clutching a motivational mug that reads “rise & grind.”
Lyle (nervous):
Marshal Cogburn, sir, I haven’t slept in three days. I’m seeing double. Is that… normal?
Rooster (grinning, missing a tooth):
Sleep is for cowards, son. You want to make it here, you gotta out-suffer the next intern. That’s the code of the wild west workplace.
Maddie (to Lyle, whispering):
I heard the last guy who tried that is still in the stairwell, talking to the fire extinguisher about “synergy.”
Suddenly, the HR deputy bursts in, waving a wellness poster.
HR deputy:
Rooster! We talked about this. Grit’s out. Well-being’s in. We have yoga at noon.
Rooster (spits his coffee into a cactus):
Yoga? In my office? Next you’ll be telling me to use “annual leave” and not answer emails at midnight!
Maddie (shrugs):
I mean, I already blocked you on Teams after 6pm.
The senior managers gasp. Rooster’s eye patch falls into his mug…..euwwww
Rooster (voice trembling):
You… set boundaries?
Maddie:
And questioned the process. And I said “no” to pointless meetings. And I asked why we’re still using fax machines in 2025.
Lyle faints. HR deputy fans him with a copy of “work smarter, not harder.”
Rooster (defeated, sits on a beanbag):
Maybe… maybe grit ain’t what it used to be.
Maddie (smiling, rides off on an electric scooter):
Don’t worry, marshal. There’s a new sheriff in town. Her name is “Val Ue.”
As Maddie exits, the office cacti blossom. Rooster stares into his mug, wondering if it’s too late to learn Python.
End scene. The moral: sometimes the grittiest thing you can do is say, “this is dumb, let’s do better.”
(Read with dramatic pauses, wild west accents, and bonus points for a fake mustache. Should clock in at 3-4 minutes with comedic timing and audience laughter.)
Look out for the Wednesday Unveiled - The grit gospel - Grit is sabotaging your career
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